Death - Resurrection - Life - Part I

     Today I want to share with you a journey that the Lord and I took together that happened about 8 years ago.  It's also a testimony of how God can take a shattered and broken heart and put it back together.  During this season of my life, three words become so real to me and a new understanding of them came into focus and these words are:

     1.  Death
     2.  Resurrection
     3.  Life

     In John chapter 11 is a  story about a man name Lazarus.  This chapter is about Lazarus's death,  how Jesus called him forth to be resurrected and brought him back to life.  As I began reading through this powerful bible story the Lord revealed to me that this was exactly what He was doing in my life and that all of us as believers must go through this process.

     All of us have experienced a death in certain areas of our old carnal natures.  We've had to die to old habits, wrong thinking, dysfunctional reactions and actions, old life styles have had to change and hidden sins have needed to be exposed.  The bible tells us that if we want to mature...... if we want our character to be changed into the character of Christ...... if we want to get beyond today and step into our tomorrow....... if we want to step out of self and step into Him, we must allow the Holy Spirit to take us through that death (which is part of the sanctification process) that brings resurrection and life to us. 

     I thought I had died in certain areas of my the old nature, but ya know, when you're faced with a crises in your life it's at that point God begins exposing the condition of your heart and you see where you lack maturity, healing and the nature of God.  You find out where your level of faith is and where it isn't, because God will test it by fire.   As I studied John 11, key words began standing out to me and I realized these words were describing exactly what was going on in my heart that was effecting my soul, spirit and emotions. 

      Throughout this chapter a precise account is given of the emotions that Mary, Martha, Jesus, and the disciples were going through.  It describes their feelings and responses to what was going on in them during that difficult time, but it doesn't mention how Lazarus was feeling.  I wonder what Lazarus was thinking?  Was he praying to himself, Lord, where are you when I need you? I've been a faithful follower, I've entertained you in my home, accepted you, loved you and now when I'm sick you aren't here for me.  Did he lose hope and did he know that he was dieing?  

     Have you ever had those same thoughts or questioned God?  Well I did.  In Proverbs 13:12 it tells us:  Hope deferred (prolonged, delayed) makes the heart sick. 

     Have you ever been sick in your heart?  This describes exactly where I was.  Prior to finding out that I had breast cancer, I had just come through a very trying and disappointing time in my life concerning my daughter.  She had gone back into a very destructive lifestyle and taken my grandchildren with her and to say the least it devastated me.  This hit me at such a very deep emotional level that I can't even begin to explain the pain in my heart nor the grieving of my soul.  I thought I had dealt with certain hurts and disappointments from the past but as this trial progressed, God began bringing up the dross in my life. 

     In John 11: 1,2,3 & 4 give us a snap shot of what was going on with Mary, Martha, Jesus and Lazarus.

     Verse 1:  Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.
     Verse 2:  And it was the Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.
     Verse 3:  The sisters therefore sent to Him, saying, "Lord behold, he whom You love is sick".
     Verse 4:  But when Jesus heard it, He said, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified by it".

     This word sickness in the Greek means:  A weakness, to be feeble, an active disease and comes from a word that means:  strength less.

     So what the Lord showed me was that this sickness that the scripture is talking about not only represents a physical sickness but also an emotional and spiritual sickness that we carry in our soul's that affect our heart.  It also represents bondage's and strongholds that make us sick, weak and we wonder why there is no power in our walk and testimony. 

     This was exactly what the enemy was trying to do in my life.  He was trying to take me out physically with the cancer and destroy me emotionally and spiritually with the trauma, hurt and the disappointment concerning my daughter. But what the enemy meant for harm, God turned it around for my good and for His glory. It wasn't until months later did I realize that God was testing my response to see just where my heart was.  I wasn't defeated by all of this, but I walked through a fiery trial that caused this soldier to experience a blow that was fierce and wounding.

     In I Peter 4:12 the word tells us:  Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try (or some translations say, test) as though some strange thing happened unto you.

     Do you know what the definition of the word "Test" is?  Websters dictionary says:  It is an examination of the nature or value of anything.  It's a standard by which a thing or qualities are tried.  It's a set of circumstances in which the nature or qualities of a person are revealed.

     Through this test, God began revealing the condition of my heart and the fire of testing began purging and cleansing everything that was not of Him.

Next week part II of  Death-Resurrection-Life.

Blessings,

Elma Garlock